Brené Brown describes vulnerability as "uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure." It's that unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone or do something that forces us to loosen control.
The True Gift of Vulnerability is Allowing Others to be Vulnerable as Well. To truly be vulnerable is not an easy thing. It is the courage to share our deepest shame, fears, or doubts. To tell someone our story of pain can be painful.
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage.”
Being vulnerable is an act of open love that draws together. It is not sharing with others in order to get something in return – pity, favors, or profiting from knowing an exclusive secret – that would be “over-sharing”, and is not being vulnerable. It is an act of realness and honesty that lets go of our attempts to create a “perfect” self-image (or a “pity-filled” one) and allows others to see us as we really are. Our worldviews are so full of self-created illusions, of egoic creations, that want to control the way others see us, irrespective of true reality. Vulnerability is a chance to take back some of those false images and opens the door to real love from others and change within ourselves. It is a drastic but necessary action that pulls down the veils we have created, or think we have created. Vulnerability is the key that allows ourselves and others to simply be who we are.
Why is this important? Because we, all of mankind, are created to be ONE – one with God, one with each other, and one with creation. Life is more symbiotic than we realize. That oneness can only be experienced through an honest exchange of our souls. The joy of finding love and acceptance in return for letting go of our false sense of projected selves is enormous. This joy unleashes a freedom from fear and a new sense of identity that is more true, more wholehearted, more genuine. This is the essence of true community.
But vulnerability requires an attitude of respect for what is being shared when others become vulnerable. An honest response in love is never rejected. But judgement, hate, and separation will destroy a healthy openness among us. This respect does not allow for gossip at all and trusts that the person who shares with you will share with others when and if they decide the time is right. And you, in love, can also encourage them to share with folks that can better help and support them. This commitment and mutual respect is essential for any close relationship to develop trust and good fruit.
Some questions to consider:
1. Take a few minutes to quietly imagine yourself being completely vulnerable. What are the things that make that kind of openness difficult? What do you think would change about yourself and the way you also look at others in a new time of vulnerability?
2. Being vulnerable is not just about telling things that you did wrong. Moreso, it is an opportunity to share what is difficult or challenging with others who you trust will listen, care and be supportive. What is something that you find challenging today?
3. What things can change about yourself or about your relationships with others that would create a better environment for vulnerability to thrive in your life?
